5 STEPS TO BE FREE OF HARMFUL SECRETS AND DISCOVER PEACE INSTEAD
Lies and negative thoughts about who you are does not just fade as you grow older. Memories of harmful acts will not just disappear with age. Instead, these lies, negative thoughts, and painful memories turn into secrets that age with you.
Have you lived too long with an aging secret? Read on to discover how you can experience healing from its emotional devastation.
IS THIS SECRET HURTING YOU?
T.D. Jakes, on his TV talk show, discussed how people spend many years of their lives managing their hurtful secrets. Author and pastor, Rick Warren stated, “You’re only as sick as your secrets.”
God wants you to be healed of any emotional damage lingering from your past. First, ask yourself these 2 questions about your secret.
Whose secret is it?
Does this secret belong to you or someone else? No matter what, you can get rid of its emotional grip on you. Be sure that God knows your secret. In the end, he will make everything right for you.
Why are you carrying this secret?
Life coach, Martha Beck, advises, “First ask yourself, and possibly an impartial adviser, whether the secret is harmless or destructive.” If the answer is yes, read below to discover 5 steps leading to your healing and peace!
HOW TO BE FREE AND FIND YOUR PEACE AGAIN
1. Pray about your secret.
- Talk openly and honestly to God about your secret.
- Believe in God’s power to heal you from the hurt you are feeling.
2. Confide in someone else.
Martha Beck also suggests confiding to whoever can be an honest, open, and positive confidant: A professional counselor, minister, or a trusted friend.
- Share how the secret is making you feel. You do not have to betray someone’s confidence by sharing the details of her secret
. You should certainly tell someone your secret if you or someone else is in immediate danger or is the victim of a criminal act.
3. Have a meeting with the person whose secret you share.
Here are some suggestions for how to release your hurt from the harmful secret that you share with another person.
- Meet with the person face-to-face if it is safe to do so.
- Speak to the person using only “I” statements such as “I feel…”
- Avoid using “you” statements such as, “You made me feel…”
- Let the person know you are now releasing the secret’s power over you.
- The person may not be sympathetic to you or understand your feelings. Expect it. This is ok.
4. Have a virtual meeting.
You may not feel comfortable having a face-to-face meeting with a person. The person may have moved out of your life or died. In these cases, you can try the following exercise alone. If it becomes too painful for you, stop immediately. Seek professional counseling to help resolve this issue.
- Sit while facing a vacant chair. In the vacant chair is the person whose secret is hurting you.
- Talk to the person as if he or she was there. Again, using “I” statements, tell them how this secret has harmed you.
- Let the person know you are now releasing the secret’s power over you.
- Literally say, “Goodbye” to the secret.
- Pray each day for help to let the pain go until you no longer feel victimized by it.
5. Forgive. Forgive. Then, forgive some more.
The final, and perhaps most important step, is forgiveness.
- Keep this in mind. Forgiving someone does not let the offender off the hook.
- Forgiving is God’s remarkable way of healing your hurt.
- You must make a conscientious decision to forgive. You cannot base forgiveness on how you feel.
- If needed, be sure to forgive yourself also.
FINALLY…
As you continue to use these steps to pursue deliverance and peace, you will certainly find it (Psalm 34:14).
However, If your secret involves abuse with someone who may physically hurt you or another person, do not try these interventions. You may need professional help. Please dial 911 for help as soon as it is safe to do so.
We are praying for you.
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Awesome post! Very encouraging!! Thank you.
Thank you Glori. Your responses are most encouraging of all!