Maria’s Journey with Breast Cancer
On the morning of July 16, I was sitting on the side of my bed trying to process the news. I said to God, “God, I haven’t heard from You!” All I could hear at the moment was the voice of my doctor telling me I had cancer. On the day before, July 15, 2015, I was told I had Stage 3, Aggressive Breast Cancer in my left breast.
Still sitting on my bed, I heard God speak to my heart. “I’m showing you.” I then closed my ears and opened my eyes! I mentally revisited the day before. Yes. God was with me all that day!
I recalled my mother speaking these words to me. “God’s got it!” My sister, Fay, said to me, “Maria, God’s got it!” My brother Bill said, “ Baby Sis, God’s got it, and so do we!” (Referring to my ten brothers and sisters!)
Go clearly showed me how he used the voices of those closest to me to show his care for me. I, in return, apologized for not seeing God intervening in my situation. Right then, I promised God, my Heavenly Father, to be a “good steward” of this horrific disease.
My journey with cancer had begun.
Physical Journey
My cancer treatments started with chemotherapy on August 17, 2015. The treatments continued through August 17, 2016. The momentous year concluded with my final surgery for breast reconstruction in September 2016.
After the first week of chemotherapy, I landed in the hospital for one week. I had trouble standing and walking. However, the chemo seemed to be working.
Another problem with chemo occurred. It produced a terrible fungus in my nails and feet. The fungus could not be corrected. In addition to other problems caused by the fungus, my nails detached from my fingers and toes.
In January, I had a bilateral mastectomy. I could not receive the breast expander implant at that time because the fungus was so severe.
By March, I had healed from the surgery and fungus. I had reconstructive surgery. However, by April, I had swelling, which needed to be corrected by my plastic surgeon.
During the reconstruction surgery in April 2016, an error occurred. My surgeon punctured the expander. This error resulted in my need for another surgery, which was scheduled later that month.
Because of the reconstructive surgeries, my radiation treatments discontinued for four of the eight required weeks. We restarted the radiation treatment again in May.
By August, with the last of the chemotherapy completed, I finally felt I could rest. All that was left was another reconstructive surgery, which was completed in September 2016.
Emotional Journey
My journey with cancer included one year of chemotherapy, eight weeks of radiation therapy, and seven surgeries. During the journey, I discovered cancer not only attacked me physically. Cancer viciously attacked me emotionally as well.
From the start of this journey to the present, I’ve experienced many conflicting emotions. When the doctor first called to confirm the biopsy results of estrogen-based cancer, I first went numb. I did not cry or show any normal emotion. Being a person of faith, I did not want to insult God.
I prayed to die. The chemotherapy made me so sick, I prayed the death prayer, asking God to take me out of the misery.
“What if?” This phrase describes the emotional roller coaster that we cancer survivors experience. Even after cancer, when other medical issues occur, we often resort to wondering, “What if this is cancer?”
I learned that feelings are God-given. When fighting cancer, it’s ok to feel scared, depressed, or angry.
Just ass my medical team helped me with the physical ailments, I had a circle of fellow cancer patients and survivors to help me with my emotion ailments. One such person was Rebekah. We were fighting cancer side by side. She completely related to my rawest emotions and I to hers. My dear friend, Rebekah, lost her fight with cancer in July 2016.
Spiritual Journey
During this journey with cancer, I grew up spiritually, realizing my priorities were out of order. My love starts with God first others!
I learned to trust God. Obey the Doctors.
I discovered that Jesus permits me to be human. I did not have to be brave about the news of my illness. God was with me. Have faith in God.
To each cancer survivor
Share your story. I stand now a Cancer Overcomer! I don’t just see a moment, but I seize every moment to share my story and give God the glory.
Include other survivors in your circle. They can walk this journey with you, unlike your other caring family and friends. With them, you can express your true feelings and fears.
Keep a positive mindset. Do not give in to defeat. It helps to keep a journal as you go through each day. There were times when all I could write was, “I feel sick.” By journaling, you can release feelings from your head to the paper.
Always take someone with you to each medical appointment. If you have no one to go with you, record the conversation between you and your doctor. It’s difficult to remember all the troubling details when you learn of a cancer diagnosis.
Every woman should diligently perform breast self-examinations. Do not ignore any lump. I discovered a lump six months before bringing it to my doctor’s attention. I ignored it. By the time I began treatment, the cancer was extremely aggressive.
How am I doing?
Today I am cancer-free. God was faithful to the promise he made as I sat on my bed that morning. He assembled and orchestrated a caring and compassionate medical team. My team and I prayed together before my surgeries. For each of my concerns, my medical team prayed with me.
My two daughters, son, and other family walked with me. My circle of cancer survivors gave me tremendous support and love.
Since cancer, I’ve had other illnesses including lymphodema, a condition caused by the removal of my lymph nodes, neuropathy in my hands and feet, and surgery for gall bladder removal in 2017.
God helps me to accept my new normal as a breast cancer survivor. I was prescribed the cancer drug, Arimidex, for ten years. With seven years to go, I have no qualms about this. Being aware of cancer signals is how I now live.
I wake up each morning and live. I work, and minister life and hope to others, all the while, being grateful to God for each day.
More about Maria
Ms. Maria Simmons lives in Evansville, Indiana. She works part-time as an administrative assistant for Clouds of Joy Pre-School & Learning Center in Evansville. An awesome and inspiring solo, Maria inspires audiences and church congregations with her beautiful soprano voice and messages of hope and healing. Maria has 3 adult children, Monica, Jeremi, and Maegan. She absolutely adores her 3 granddaughters and 4 grandsons.
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